i have been asked about my plans for my business quite a bit lately… in short we have decided to push pause. i could not be more thrilled about the success of silver lined weddings. i have had the amazing opportunity to work with the most delightful couples & be there as they begin their forevers. i also have had the distinct privilege to work alongside & learn from the most talented vendors & I am honored to call several of them friends. i absolutely love what I do. i love to create beautiful things, i love to make sure everything goes smoothly. i love to be that person my couples tells, ‘i am not sure how we would have done it without you’. still you will find me teary-eyed as the marriage is sealed with a kiss and the couple dances together for the first time as man & wife.
however, my body hasn’t loved what i do. last year about this time I was noticing my RA had progressed & the physical demands of my job were becoming more challenging. i have the privilege of working from home & being a momma first (honestly the hardest job of them all, but more on this another time), i chose to not take meetings or calls during the day, this meant i was working when my husband was home (we never were able to do things as a family)… all night & into the wee hours of the morning i worked. just to wake up with a couple hours of sleep and repeat. so why wasn’t i getting pregnant, why was my body failing me so miserably… well hindsight is always 20-20. between june & oct 2012 i designed & coordinated 14 weddings, and worked as one of three founders and the planner/designer of the gift worth giving, a $50,000 wedding giveaway for a deserving montana couple. and while i loved this past year, it was a challenge to say the least. i did thankfully get pregnant in may, but it did add to my health challenges. as the perfectionist i am, i really didn’t feel i was able to give 110% and this was destroying me. it is a giant responsibility to be in charge of one the most important days of a person’s life, a challenge I generally thrive on. in an attempt to compensate, i even took on an intern, only to learn later that much of the responsibility i had delegated was not being produced at my level of standard. ugh, my worst fear with giving up some of the control had become reality. so i was left to pick up much of that mess & continue on with my commitments. i had a wedding every weekend & my amazing husband either assisted me or officiated the wedding, so my 2 year old daughter was shuffled down the road to be with my mom (& while I so appreciate having this wonderful option, i missed her so much). then just before my last wedding i found myself in the hospital with pleurisy which lead to my ultimate crash, more on that here.
in the midst of this and looking back over the past couple years at my declining health, my husband and i made the heart wrenching decision to put my flourishing business on hold, a ‘medical leave’ if you will. i knew this was what God was asking of me, to humble myself and truly give him the credit for the success of my business. and at first, i have to admit i may have thrown a bit of a tantrum, this was not ‘my plan’. but given time i held on to the truth that HE made it successful once and HE could do it again. so yes our plan right now is for me to throw myself entirely into taking care of my body & lovin’ on my beautiful girl & precious new boy for the next year. seriously, everyday since making this decision i have been shown it is the right one for our family, it is still difficult & i do miss it but i know i am right where i am suppose to be for this season of my life.
i can see my business evolving into something slightly different; i am certainly entertaining 2014 wedding inquires. but i have found my passion in design & photo-stylization. i was able to design a few photo-shoot spreads for a magazine this year, and one actually got the cover! i have a couple planners contracting my designs that prefer to focus on the coordination, as well as individuals inquiring about interior design consults (did not see that coming). but i think i could really enjoy all of it & it would not be as physically demanding or pull me from my young family as often. but nothing is for certain, except i know God will direct us down the right path and open the proper doors in good timing.
….is it weird at the end of these posts i want to say, in that really deep paul harvey voice, now you know the rest of the story… if you know what I am talking about, i bet you said it like that :).